Stuff Archives - Blog on a Limb

We Don’t Learn To Swim By Looking Longingly At The Waters

Dated ; 16, June 2021

This day last year, I penned down a prayer in a book that I received as a gift on my birthday, which coincidentally, was also the day I launched this blog. Naturally, half of the space in my head was dedicated, at the time, to churning things out, as regards the blog as I had questions and fears ringing in my head along with the dutiful sense of excitement.

The prayer I penned down is worded thus, “While it is perfectly normal for me to consider within myself how I’d keep up with blogging consistently, It is not enough grounds for me to doubt that I can do this in a meaningful way. Neither is it grounds to quit. A gift that is not used will not have the chance to grow and be developed, so I will use this gift until I can’t anymore. Dated ; 16-06-2020.

Sometimes I think it sounds more like a mantra than a prayer, but anyway, it was in response to some sentences I read in the book that I was reading at the time, that has stayed with me to this day – One of which was, “We cannot afford to doubt our God-assigned, unique destiny. If we do, we will undermine with hesitancy, fear, or anger all that has been entrusted to us.” – Lisa Bevere.

A word in season if you ask me, because I surely had a lot of self-doubt at the time. Self-doubt adorned with many fears that really rooted in the unknown.

After one year of blogging on a limb, I have these struggles to admit;

I haven’t figured out what my blogging-niche is yet, and I’m grateful to all of you that keep reminding me to but thinking and stressing about it has been giving me anxiety. I’m hoping it will come to me when the time is right and that I can enjoy the process up while waiting to figure it out.
I haven’t found a perfect logo yet. The one I’m currently using is great especially because my amateur self designed it, but come on, I still need help with that.
I don’t have my itinerary for the next one year planned out, perfectionist as I may be. And seriously, who wouldn’t like to have it all planned and figured out
I have only very recently written out my personal statement to myself about what I want my blog to be like, and I suspect that now that `I have it written dow, the list will only keep growing as I grow more into myself.
I still have trouble explaining to people what my blog is about because I can pen it down better than I can verbally explain to you. I don’t know why this is but its just so.
Even if I spell-check manually or automatically, I still find errors in my writings. this excites me as much as it keeps me on my toes.

But what I can tell you in addition is;

I started – and this was the hardest part, for this I congratulate myself.

My writing and grammar has improved today from what it was a year ago, it never would have if I didn’t exercise my pen, or in this case – drum my fingers on the keyboard.

I’ve learned and I am still learning art, such as designing a poster, I hope y’all feed me back on the ones in this post.

I have many unfinished / unpublished words written down, that may never see the light of day and that’s okay because the joy for me is writing it down and having my jumbled thoughts finally make sense.

I am learning to be more intentional about my life because, time counts, words impact people and life is figured out on the go, without cheat codes or expos.

I am not ready to monetise the blog just yet, despite the offers, because I just want to write and be in my happy sane space and not be under pressure to put out something catchy every week.

I am not happy to write just for the sake of writing and having something to say publicly – there’s no fun in that.

And most importantly, I have been able to connect with brilliant minds, and have had vulnerable things entrusted to me, because I made the brave move to share the mundane, overlooked and vulnerable stuff.

This is what blogging on a limb is really about for me, blogging and figuring it out in the way because no gift comes out fully mature.

My point is…

Whatever your gift is, please just start working on it. Draw up rough drafts and make as much of a mess as you need to make with it but just start. It will take time to master it, but start anyway.

The things I know today, I would never have guessed on the side of being hesitant and too fearful to start the process. We don’t learn to swim by looking longingly at the waters. We learn by getting wet and messy, learning to hold our breaths a little longer than is comfortable, getting in the waters and training our bodies to perfect the strokes.

We don’t learn to swim by looking longingly at the waters

So Start.

Then get better.

Then become the expert you can potentially be.

Live your life on a limb.

Ps: thanks to the one who gifted me the book that added to a sequence of beautiful events that led here. The book continues to mean a lot to me. ?

Pps: it’s coincidental that today I read a beautifully worded piece that Chimamanda penned down and asked myself, how much work it must have taken her to master the art of writing so brilliantly.

Also, before you jump to my WhatsApp (which I appreciate), Kindly drop your feedbacks here. Gracias.

I wouldn’t mind some company after all.

“Lone Ranger” is the word. It’s a word I tease myself with alot . I guess it’s because it describes how I made significant decisions during important seasons of my life and executed my plans all alone.

I’m that lady that wants something, makes plans on how to get it and executes the plans immediately, well without dilly-dallying or consulting anyone and with an unflinching laser focus.

Fortunately, that has worked for me 90% of the time. I get things done faster and on my terms, without having to be slowed down by the collective momentum that comes with moving in groups.

I started long distance walking as a form of exercise during the lock down. I’ve always found walking therapeutic because it opens my mind up. I daydream while walking, I make plans about my future and also process my thoughts. You can guess my preferred style of walking – ALONE. Another thing is that being alone allows me pace myself as I want. That way, I’m not distracted by small talks as I would, if I had company. I also get to enjoy the strong-willed side of me.

I don’t particularly have a route I stick to while walking (trying to avoid being predictable and stalkable ?), so I tend to switch things up a lot. Well, that’s another perk of doing it alone; the fact that I can switch things up on a whim, without having to consult with anyone.

I was lost, deep in the songs on my playlist when I suddenly sensed I was being followed. Followed by three little humans. Two girls and a boy, with the oldest assumably 11yrs. I “sense” this following by their body heat, which is a sharp contrast to the normally cool evening atmosphere that I enjoy. I noticed them walking by my side and consistently stealing glances at me, whispering things to each other.

Initially, I ignored them and continued walking at a brisk pace since they seem harmless but I soon realized they had been ‘walk-running’ all along. Meaning they were walking at a fast pace in an attempt to match my own strides.

“Biola, slow down, you should slow down”, those were the thoughts running in my head. I was supposed to slow down so as to accommodate the pace that their little feet could bear with. Because it is what a decent adult should do. But I didn’t. I had timed myself and set my goal for the day.

“Are you following me?” I ask (Not because I don’t know, but because Yoruba people are supposed to ask only obvious questions ?). They replied “yes, we’ve noticed you usually walk here and we would like to join you tonight”.

This response, communicated in Yoruba, made me smile. I mean, how long have they been watching me? Am I perhaps inspiring someone? Or some people? Some potential leaders of tomorrow? Maybe, maybe not !

“Okay, so if you want to join me, you have to be tough. Do you think you can try that?.”

“Beeni ma” they replied.

“So what we will do is, we will walk to that bend and afterwards jog on the main road” I said.

Jogging is usually not in my routine but I know children are energetic and will fare better jogging than this awkward “walk-running” they are doing beside me.

So we started jogging.

While doing so, I kept giving them instructions. Mainly reminding them to stay off the course of oncoming vehicles and pausing occasionally for the youngest to empty his bladder.

On our way, we passed by a group of young guys who were walking leisurely. I recalled their faces because I see them everyday, at this time and on this route, also working out. From their gait, it is evident that they are tired but for some reason, as we jogged past them, they joined in. They raised chants of encouraging words, aimed at us. We continue jogging together, and we pass two other people – adults- who also joined us.

It didn’t take long before people started to look and point at us. My merry band of eight had drawn attention to ourselves.

Truth be told, I was already tired at this point but I had to keep going because I didn’t want to be the one to dampen the excitement in the children and I also didn’t want it to seem like the chants of the others were falling on deaf ears.

After circling through half of the semi-vast estate, I slowed our pace down to a walk and led us in the direction of the parents of the children. Their parents had been waiting for them. I kinda didn’t want them to leave for I was already enjoying their company.

As I headed back home, I thought about the night and realized many things.

The first being that, without intending to, I not only accommodated three others in my private exercise – where I was reluctant to even have one person with me, but I also, momentarily altered my plans to suit their capacities and actually relished the experience!

Surprisingly , I admit to myself that I want to do this again and I’m hoping that tomorrow they would join me just like today. I found myself making a mental note to ply the same route the next time I’m out.

I realized they were willing to walk with me just as I was willing to be with them. They were willing to make adjustments so as not to slow me down just as I eventually did for them.

I realized I wouldn’t mind some company after all, as long as both parties are willing to make it work, as long as one side is not slowing down the other, as long as both sides serve as mutual motivators.

I got home, checked my pedometer and realized I had covered about 2,000 steps above my target.

Having these children around definitely didn’t slow me down!! I smiled, trying to recall their names… Alas, I didn’t know it because it didn’t occur to me to ask for it ?. Sigh. I went on my walks on different occasions afterwards, hoping to bump into them, but like the stories always say…. I never met the children again. I’m grateful however, for that one night we got to share.